My Thoughts on Working at a fast pace job with a disability

My Thoughts on working at a fast pace job with a disability The job experience working with a disability have been very difficult. I can say this first hand because I have overcome the ups and downs of working in a fast pace job environment. It is very competitive and very demanding. I can say it has been very hard after 2 jobs in almost 2 or 3 in a half years. The jobs didn’t cater to human beings with disabilities. I have as a person with Autism and mental illness, I have been overlooked what kind of job(s) I can do. I feel that working like I have been have kept me from being accepted in this world. It is sad and complicated that I know I do not feel accepted with my mental illness. These 2 or 3 in a half years of working really changed my life. I was not fully prepared what work was on my own. In my life, I consider working with my dad as a job, which he sold incenses and cut lawns. That was a business he had. It still has me wondering what work would be like without working with someone. My dad taught me the important lesson of working for myself. I took it as that I don’t work for just anyone, but find my work to do. I always was amazed how much my dad worked half of his life before he gave up working for the “white man” he called it. He really wanted me to work for myself and feel proud of my hard work. My dad is still my inspiration to this day from me working hard. I felt like all my life, I did not let Autism or any mental illness keep me from anything. I try so hard to not be hard on myself working when I do. I like to feel a sense of pride that all I can do is my very best. That is what I always have lived by…my very best. It helps me to ask questions when I need it and perform my duties at work. Autism sometimes kept me hidden for a long time when I finally accepted myself. It is very hard to battle a disorder that you cannot help. The challenges of working with a disability is rough for me. There were days that I did not know how I was going to get through with work. It got me through each day as a new start to complete my work. I can truly say that I have made it over jobs that kept me from giving up in the beginning. Now, looking back, I should have more time to really understand the real deal of work. It does take the dedication and effort doing the work. My first job experience happened for an interview, back in October 2015. I first applied at Taco Bell. I went in confident and knew I would get the job. I didn’t realize it would be very fast paced and emulous with the work. There were employees there that I never met and started to get to know. There was an orientation, which included tests and I had to pass them. I had the help with a job coach. I had passed the quizzes and exams to be a “food champion.” My job as a “food champion” was preparing food items, thermalize food ingredients (cold and hot). I thermalize the nacho cheese and beef. It was all packed and ready to be cooked at a certain degree. I clean, wash dishes and that was about it. Oh, I also took out the garbage for my shift. All of that made the time go fast at work. Mind you, this was my first job and I was being trained what I had to do. I was working twenty-twenty-five hours a week at Taco Bell and had to make sure I was not going over the amount of hours to work. It was part time, the job and it was working out for a few months. I started work officially, November 16, 2015. I had been working the Taco Bell close by my apartment, in Canterbury Green, for six or seven months. I did felt the pressure to work on days where the work got to me. I felt that I was the only one working that dealt with my mental illness. Luckily, I had a team of employees that helped me get along with work. Some of the employees or workers were not able to always help me. We had to work at a pace where food had to be sold fast. We had to get the orders made right and there was no mess ups. We were all humans and got orders wrong sometimes. I know I was capable to mess up. My job was in the back, working to make the food taste and look great. The days I worked was in the beginning early afternoons to late evenings. I could not work mornings or late nights because of my benefits. That was my downfall as the reason for me working now. I cannot work over certain amount of hours or my benefits will be deducted. It is very important that I continue to work at 15-20 hours a week. It would be terrible for me to lose my benefits. So, I continue to work at Taco Bell and after a while, I just did not get supported entirely. I found that job on my own and soon, I received help from a company with Benchmark and a job coach. I was deeply disappointed and let down. I had enough and finally quit after sometime. I felt that I was not praised for my hard work. I had every right to walk away from the job and quit. It took me a while to let the job go but I can say that it was well worth it. It took me about six months to regroup and work again. I caution myself to be warned what I was getting into working. It became so much for me to learn so much work at Taco Bell over six months. I started working again in January 2017, now this recent job I had worked me twenty hours or varies. I was working twenty hours a week; six hours a day on two or four days a week. This job was at the Memorial Coliseum. I was a utility worker which I was a dishwasher. I hand wash the dishes and put them away. Usually, I would be in more than one space making sure the kitchen was neat. This job was the most stressful because it was a company…a million-dollar company at that. The pay is good and raises every week. The first couple of days I got lost in the Coliseum. It is a big place and many entrances. Again, the job is lasting a couple of months or less weeks. I just tried it to see if I wanted to work. I have many regrets, there was also a position which I applied but was not available at the time. I had regrets taking the position, but at the same time, I gone far because I went through it. God helped me get through it but I step out of my comfort zone. I know when I get to apply for jobs…I know that my experiences working will matter. It will be more job experience for me. Next time, I will be more open to finding a job that will work with my hours, my talents, my goals, and creativity. God helped me through it all and I can say that I will not be rushed finding a job. I will take my time and really evaluate the job with the right energy, commitment, and being engaged (or that means the same thing.) Anyone reading this, if you have a disabilit(es) or mental illness, don’t let work or anything stop you. It just means WE must fight a little bit harder to be apart of the growing work population. WE, with mental illness matter in the work society. WE have a voice that can change how our boss and employers’ minds see how we work. WE can’t work less than other workers or we will feel less comfortable on the job. I say this because WE all with mental illness are not alone!!!

Model, Music, or Love

The long night recording an aspiring artist in the studio was hard work. This male record producer Deontae “Deon” Brooks cued up a track for his new, young artist, Cybil Jackson. She was recording a single for her EP. “Okay, let’s turn it up!” yelled Deon. “Okay,” said Cybil from inside the recording booth. Deon sat at his mixing board adjusting the levels of the track and Cybil’s vocals. Cybil adjusted her headphones and began to sing. She’d grown up singing gospel in church but was now an R&B and Pop artist exclusively. Don’t Even Bother Why do you say you don’t bother me?!It doesn’t matter if you never gonna be with meThen why the hell you not speaking to meYou ain’t gonna see me doing badly.When you don’t see me doing anything then you want to come back when you want me.You know what you don’t bother meThen you can’t be with me you won’t be with meWhen you act like you ever love meWhy you got to bother me because you don’t speak to meYou don’t have the words to say them to meDon’t even bother I give all my heart to youYou said you never loved me Deontae “Deon” Brooks stops the music and turns on his mic to the recording booth. “When you get to a low note, get there but go to a higher pitch to match the lyrics. You are angry in your song so you want to go there. You don’t want to take no more shit from the guy. You’re getting all your anger out,” explained Deon. “Okay,” said Cybil. Deon started up the track and sat back in his chair listening with his eyes closed. He cracked a smile and nodded his head rhythmically. She was finally getting it.Don’t even bother!I give all my heart to youYou said you never loved meDon’t even bother! “That’s it! Yell at that guy when you caught him doing wrong,” exclaimed Deon. It was after 2:30 A.M. by the time they finished. Cybil came out of the booth yawning and sat next to Deon. “I think we got it. Once I’m done mixing it, I’ll hit you up so you can check out the final version,” said Deon. “Sweet! Thanks for all your help,” said Cybil. “Hey, not a problem,” said Deon. Deon turned off all the equipment in his makeshift studio and walked to his bedroom. He’d renting office space downtown to do his music but he couldn’t afford the rent after he lost his job as an IT technician. He’d been out of work for almost a year and was starting to feel the pressure financially but he was determined make his music generate money for him. He went to his drawer and pulled out his pajamas and bike riding attire for the next morning. He was a biking fanatic. He rode twice a day, every day. Sean had seen the effect that of lack of exercise had on his parents and was determined to not let it happen to him. Deon went to the bathroom, stripped down and hopped into the shower. When the water hit his 5”9, dark-skinned, muscular, African-American frame, he let out a sigh and turned his face up to the spray. He closed his brown eyes as the water hit his low faded haircut and dripped off his neatly trimmed mini goatee. He finished his shower, wrapped a large blue towel around his waist and headed to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet, two beers from the fridge and sat at the table. He poured a can into the glass and finished it in a few big gulps. He cracked open the second and sipped straight from the can. He hated sleeping alone and drinking helped to keep him from thinking about the empty bed that was waiting on him. He really wanted to be with someone but he was done settling immature types who played silly games.Deon went to his room and slide under the covers over his head hoping the beer would make him drowsy. He thought about this handsome black guy who would drive past him while he biked. He would smile at Deon but he never stopped. The guy reminded Sean of Tyson Beckford except he had a low cut fade. Deon drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. Deon got up around 11 AM, showered and threw on his Nike Athletic shirt, blue shorts, and running shoes. He grabbed his bike from the hallway and headed to the park. While he was taking a water break, a tall, muscular dark skinned guy jogged passed him and smiled. Deon had never met him before, but wanted to get to know him. The stranger stopped, turned around and trotted back to Deon. “Hi, my name is Derrick. What’s your name?”“I’m Deon, man. I’ve seen you jog past by me every day when I run.” Derrick checked Deon out his body. “Yep, I want to holla at you sometime other than here.” “Cool, give me your number and I’ll hit you up.” “Alright.” Deon rattled off his number while Derrick punched the digits into his phone. “Cool. I’ll give you a ring,” said Derrick as he slid his phone into his pocket. ”I look forward to it,” said Deon as he started riding a way. Later that afternoon, Deon sat in his studio. He was restless with anticipation. He looked at his phone while drumming his fingers lightly on the edge of his mixing board. A barely eaten turkey sandwich sat next to him on a stool. Deon had tried to work on a new track but his mind was busy thinking about Derrick. The phone finally rang and Deon snatched it up and put it to his ear. “What’s up, man? What’s going on with you?” asked Derrick. “I’m good got this studio up and running. Making a track,” Deon waited to hear what more Derrick think about today. “That’s what I like to hear. Seriously, man, I have to be honest. There is just something I like about you I don’t know how to explain it yet.” Derrick mentioned. “I guess when we meet up again you can tell me.” Deon interested to know more about Derrick. “Why don’t you come over today and I will.” Derrick said made it sound humorous. “Cool. See you in about thirty minutes?” “Sounds good. See you in a bit.” Deon straightened his place up a bit while he waited on Derrick to arrive. He checks his fridge and was glad to see that it well stocked with beer and other drinks. The doorbell rang and Deon went and opened it and let Derrick in. “You made it,” said Deon. Derrick looked around Deon’s house and nodded his head in approval. “So, I see you don’t speak too much?” asked Deon. “I do, but you just got to get me to talk more,” answered Derrick. “Yes, I will,” agreed Deon. “Are you charming me with your words? I must say that since we ran into each other while we ran, I really like you a lot,” said Derrick. Deon smiled a minute. “Why now?” asked Deon. “I couldn’t say that to you before,” answered Derrick. “Why do you sit down and I’ll make something to drink,” said Deon. Deon moved the papers off his couch. Deon walked in the kitchen to get a soda. He came back in the room and Derrick got his own soda. Deon took Derrick on a tour to his studio upstairs. “I like the studio, how much did this all cost to build or set up?” asked Derrick. “Around $375,000 dollars,” answered Deon. “Wow, you must be rich,” said Derrick. “Yeah, but I’m far from that,” said Deon. Derrick sat at the soundboard where the technical gears for music and he tried the different buttons. “What are these entire switch gears do to help the singer while their singing?” asked Derrick. “Do you mean how I produce them while they sing?” asked Deon.“Yes, that’s what I’m asking,” Derrick said. Deon pointed to the recording booth. “All you do is while they sing, you would cue the sound, the audio and you would hear them sing through that booth.” Deon taught Derrick what was there to produce a song. Derrick was somewhat catching on what Deon showed him. He never had been in a recording studio and Derrick was so fascinated by what a studio was like in an actual studio. "I will be glad to show you more the next time you come over,” said Deon. “Yes, that would be a good idea,” said Derrick. Deon and Derrick went out the door. “Why do you come over for dinner tomorrow and we can talk some more,” said Deon. “Yeah, that would be great. I’m free tomorrow,” said Derrick. “Okay great, well see you tomorrow at six,” said Deon. “Okay, bye-bye,” said Derrick. “Bye,” said Deon. Deon shuts the door as Derrick left.

Model Love Preview

The long night recording an aspiring artist in the studio is hard work. Sean Matthews produces a track for this young girl and his artist is just Cybil. She was recording a single for her EP. Cybil is a recording artist and have experience writing and singing songs. “Okay, let’s turn it up!” yelled Sean. “Okay,” said Cybil. Cybil walked into the booth. Sean sat at his gear board and started producing the beat of the song. Cybil put on her headphones and her lyrics in front of her. Cybil began singing her vocals in the speaker. Cybil sings Mainstream R&B and Pop. Cybil wrote these particular lyrics for her song Don’t Even Me. Don’t Even Bother Why do you say you don’t?! It doesn’t matter if you never gonna be with me Then why the hell you not speaking to me You ain’t gonna see me doing badly. When you don’t see me doing anything then you want to come back when you want me. You know what you don’t bother me Then you can’t be with me you won’t be with me When you act like you ever love me Why you got to bother me because you don’t speak to me You don’t have the words to say them to me Don’t even bother I give all my heart to you You said you never loved me Sean cuts the chorus for him to criticize her vocals and how to do it. “When you get to a low note, get there but go to a higher pitch to match the lyrics. You are angry in your song, so you want to go there. You don’t want to take no more shit from the guy and get all your anger out,” explained Sean. “Okay,” said Cybil. Sean played back the song and produced the beat of the song Don’t Even Bother. Sean sat back in his chair listening to the lyrics. Cybil made changes to her single. “That’s it! Yell at that guy when you caught him doing wrong,” said Sean. Cybil came out of the booth and talked to her producer. “Right, I would act like I put my hand up to him and tell him bye,” said Cybil. Sean had agreed with what Cybil’s suggestion and answered, “Right.” Cybil was confident of herself because she wrote a lot of love/hate songs. Cybil went back into recording her song. It was after 2:30 A.M. when they had finished the song. The singer came out of the booth for her to go home. “Yo, I think that was good and I will work with this track and go through the process to fix it up,” said Sean. “Okay, thank you,” said Cybil. “Hey, not a problem,” said Sean. Sean turned all his equipment and the lights out of his recording studio. Sean went to his room and got his clothes out for the next day. He did not have a job but he was going to take a walk, and jog on mornings that were nice or cold. He would run in the afternoon around the block. Sean went to his closet and drawer to get his pajamas to sleep in. He walked in his bathroom for his shower to get ready for bed. Sean ran his hands across his face and washing his body all over too. Once he got done in the shower, he hopped out and wrapped a towel around his six pack abs. Sean is African American, light-skinned, had a mini goatee, his height is 5”9; his hair is a low fade haircut and brown eyes. Sean walked to his room with his blue towel and changed in his pajamas. Sean sat on his bed and thought about having a drink. He got him a glass and pours the alcohol beverage in it. He let the tangy brown alcohol beverage go down his throat. Sean would drink himself to sleep. He was alone in his bed during the night into the next morning, which he had a few hours to sleep, since his recording session took longer. He was going to sleep most of the day. He was sleeping all alone without sleeping with someone next to him. Sean had dreamed to be with this black male model but has not found the right one yet. He never dated a black male model before. He would see this black guy drive past him and while he exercises. He wanted the mature type and not someone on games all the time. His ideal guy must have a low fade and a cool personality. He one day took his walk outside when he did not see him. Sean slept with his smile on his face. Sean got up around 11 AM and headed for the showers. Sean took off his pajamas and started his water. He steps in the shower and washes his body everywhere. Once he let the bath water drain, got out and finished getting dressed in his room. Sean wore a black Nike Athletic shirt, blue shorts, and running shoes. Sean came downstairs, got his red bike and took it outside. Sean took the bike outside, down the steps, and started to ride to the park. Once he reached the park, he rode around the park and took him a water break. This one black guy was jogging and ran past him, he smiled and kept jogging. Sean had never met him before, but wanted to get to know him. He could not tell if he saw him while he was driving or he kept pushing him. This stranger had the courage to go up to Sean. “Hi, my name is Derrick. What’s your name?” asked Derrick. “I’m Sean, man. I have seen you jog past by me every day when I run,” said Sean. “Yeap, I want to holla at you sometime other than here,” said Derrick. “Cool, give me your number and I’ll hit you up,” said Sean. “Alright,” said Derrick. Derrick Harrison stood 5”8 and a muscular toned body and flexible arms. Derrick was short, dark and handsome. Derrick finishes his jog and Sean looked back at him. This was too weird for him. Sean finished his water bottle and rode his bike home. Sean got inside with his bike and called his new friend named Derrick Harrison. Derrick wanted to shoot hoops with Sean. Sean always knew he’d beat Derrick in basketball and he did. Frankly, they never talked about the girls they like. Derrick walked in the ball court where Sean shoots a basket. Derrick was waiting to hear what his friend if he liked him. “What’s up, man!” What’s going on with you?” asked Derrick. “I’m good got this studio up and running. Making a track,” said Sean. “That’s what I like to hear,” said Derrick. “Man, I have to be honest; this is just something I just happen to like about you, I don’t know how there is,” said Sean. “Yeah, I guess we must meet up and you can tell me,” said Derrick. “Well, the next time I see you, I will,” said Sean. “Cool,” said Derrick. Sean ended his call with his friend when there was a knock at the door. Sean opened it and the mail man delivered his mail. “Thank you,” said Sean. Sean looked through all his bills and threw it to the side. He still cannot get that boy from out of his head. He wanted to meet him again so maybe he could get to know him. The first time meeting someone isn’t all about getting under the sheets and freak. He wasn’t thinking about that yet. Sean was driving his car when he came to a red light in front of him. As he moved over to another lane, he quickly got in the same lane as Derrick. He looked at him and as the car pulled off when he did. Sean followed his car until he stopped on the curb, in front of Derrick’s house. Sean parked his car behind Derrick. “Hi, I’m Sean.” “Hi,” Derrick nervously said. “I’m the guy you saw at the park the other day,” he said. Derrick gave Sean a background of who he was. Sean lives and travels to Los Angeles. He works as a fashion model in New York City. “You are always nice to me whenever we are jogging,” said Sean. “That is true. I can tell from that beautiful smile you have,” said Sean. Sean would have found it rude to not ask him over his house. “Hey why don’t you come over to my house and get better acquainted,” said Sean. “Sure, why not,” said Derrick. “Okay, I’ll meet you over there,” said Sean. Sean headed home and waited for Derrick to arrive as well. Derrick came over seconds after Sean did. Derrick got out and walked up to the door. Sean opened the door and let Derrick in the house. “You made it,” said Sean. Derrick looked around Sean’s house and noticed it had a lot of space with chairs, a table, hallway, two bathrooms and a whole kitchen. The upstairs was before you entered the living room. “So, I see you don’t speak too much?” asked Sean. “I do, but I can be vibrant and always myself,” answered Derrick. “Yes, you are,” agreed Sean. “Are you charming me with your words? I must say that since we ran into each other while we ran, I really like you a lot,” said Derrick. Sean smiled a minute. “Why now?” asked Sean. “I couldn’t say that to you before,” answered Derrick. “Why do you sit down and I’ll make something to drink,” said Sean. Sean moved the papers off his couch. Sean walked in the kitchen to get a soda. He came back in the room and Derrick got his own soda. Sean took Derrick on a tour to his studio upstairs. “I like the studio, how much did this all cost to build or set up?” asked Derrick. “Around $375,000 dollars,” answered Sean. “Wow, you must be rich,” said Derrick. “Yeah, but I’m far from that,” said Sean. Derrick sat at the soundboard where the technical gears for music and he tried the different buttons. “What are these entire switch gears do to help the singer while their singing?” asked Derrick. “Do you mean how I produce them while they sing?” asked Sean. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking,” Derrick said. “All you do is while they sing, you would cue the sound, the audio and you would hear them sing through that booth,” answered Sean. Sean taught Derrick what was there to produce a song. Derrick was somewhat catching on what Sean showed him. He never had been in a recording studio, in someone’s house before. Derrick was so fascinated by what a studio was like in someone’s house than somewhere else. “I will be glad to show you more the next time you come over,” said Sean. “Yes, that would be a good idea,” said Derrick. Sean and Derrick went out the door. “Why do you come over for dinner tomorrow and we can talk some more,” said Sean. “Yeah, that would be great. I’m free tomorrow,” said Derrick. “Okay great, well see you tomorrow at six,” said Sean. “Okay, bye-bye,” said Derrick. “Bye,” said Sean. Sean shuts the door as Derrick left.

What I'm Doing Now?

Hi, guys I have finished my finals in college. I have finished my first semester in college at Ivy Tech. I had a good time and the weeks went by so fast. I had three classes during my first semester at Ivy Tech. I took a class that I had to pass to move on New Student Seminar. The other classes I had was College Writing 093 and Math 015. I did very well in my College Writing (because I love to write.) It was not a challenge for me and I have improve with my writing. My teacher Mrs. Weber was so sweet and kind. She really help me out a lot and believed in me. I met a lot of the classmates and I really enjoyed them. I have struggled with Math and the class was easy in the beginning. This was time consuming but I got through 5 modules in the class. It became hard at the time when I had to learn the math on my own. There was a teacher and a tutor helping me. You do the homework and quizzes at home and take the post test at school. Now, this summer, I have to finish those 5 modules that are left to do. My birthday was last week on Wednesday. I had turned 20 yrs. old and feel no difference. I have changed over the years but to reach this age, young people don't get to this age. I am blessed to have been to this age and continue living. I had good times and bad times in my life, but I got through it. I miss my mom every day and wish she saw me grow up. She is so proud of me and I love her. I am writing my second book called Model Love. The book is about a man who falls in love with a model. He is a record producer. I wanted to write a book that was fun and how people are in love. I wanted to write something different and hope people will enjoy it too. I do want to write gay black stories and I have wrote some on BGC. This summer, I want publicity for my first book Brothers Stand Strong. It has done well and I am very proud of it.

What I'm Doing Now?

Hey guys I'm glad to be letting you guys know what I'm up to now. Well, first off, I like to thank you guys for supporting me and believing in me as much as you have. My birthday is coming up on May 2. I'm turning 20 years old and it's a big milestone for me. I'm almost an adult and ready to see the world hopefully one day. I'm thankful for turning 20.

I'm in my first semester at Ivy Tech studying English and Communications. So far, I like it and notices it's different than high school. There is more responsibility now than when I was in high school. I have to be on top of my work and complete college.

I'm still reading books and writing. Also, I'm working on my next book more info soon in the updates.

Keep you all posted!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 4

These are my opinions about the girls of Real Housewives of ATL:

NeNe: I love NeNe so much! She is my favorite housewives out of her the 6 women. She let you have it when you deserve it true! But sometimes it can harsh but hey truth is the truth. We all have to hear that.

Kim: She's very nice and I see a lot of changes in her from the past 3 seasons of the show.

Kandi: She's the woman who will be honest and she is free-spirited as well. She's a very talented Artist and Songwriter too.

Sheree: I like Sheree for who she is and that's all I can say about her.

Cynthia: I love that she's a model and feels distant at times but is more like Kandi in her own way.

Phaedra: She's a successful businesswoman.

Marlo: She's fabulous

Basketball Wives 4

This season of Basketball Wives is going to be good. I've tune in to every episode and I really like it. Mostly to the entertainment tho. My opinions are about each of the girls and how I feel about them:

Shaunie: She's great and I like how she keeps everyone together and really wants to have a good time. She doesn't like any drama and I admire that about her.

Evelyn: She's a no-barred, no nonsense, down to earth businesswoman who happens to be in love with her NFL Fiancee. She's real and I like her for that.

Tami: What can I say about this inspirational woman. Now, she is the same as Evelyn but a WHOLE LOT different. I seen her over the past two seasons and she evolved to where people really like her a lot. I personally love how she carrys her without no one making her mad. She definitely is a hot head at times too.

Royce: She distant herself from the rest of the group and does her own thing. I dig that because she lets no one come at her sideways, even though she is youngest of the group, and everyone else is older.

Suzie: She confused me since the first season and I know that she wants to fit in. No comment.

Jennifer: She's quiet at times and know all about what she wants for herself. She overcame a lot after what happened on the show and she is moving on to better things.

Kenya: I have to watch the rest of the season to know her.

Kesha: Same thing as well about her.